modern heartbreak.

March 12, 2017

here's a little preview of my brain at 3 am 

 

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it's “read at 10:19 pm” when it’s 10:42 as you keep staring at your phone after every buzz hoping that they will just call you back or at least acknowledge you..

when you wake up in the morning hungover, from a long night of overthinking about your relationship and how it's all-over.

 

and it’s unliking and blocking and unfriending and unfollowing as if the click of that single button doesn't mean the world to the person who's getting that notification.

 

it’s a reality show for the public as they watch breakups playing out on twitter feeds instead of normal conversations for just the two of you to see. When irrelevant people quote the tweet, about two people that they'll probably never meet.

 

Instead of "going down in the DM's" is "going down in the details" of almost every persons imessages. 

 

and it’s saved photos that shouldn’t have been kept in the first place or it’s screenshotted texts that were meant for only one person to read, cause when the world gets involved and it's better for "retweets", people forget all about the privacy.

 

When someone you once trusted knows all your secrets, it's now up to them if they want to leak it.

 

it’s friends taking sides with whoever gets more instagram likes and people getting involved who don't even know your last name because suddenly this isn't just a break up between you and me, it's a break up between who can get more retweets. 

 

it’s making a daily routine to check everything they post even though you know it will only make you feel worse. As you're seeing them change their status from “in a relationship” to “single” as if removing you from their profile just gets rid of you all for a while.

 

But forget about feelings when you can get a video, what's the need to stop every once and a while to say hello.

 

It really doesn't matter unless you're an A list, who cares about friendships when popularity exists. 

 

it’s that feeling of profile pictures changing from being with you to being with someone new, as you slowly see yourself fading away as if your nothing but an old memory.

 

And it’s phones thrown across the room as their screens start to shatterjust like your broken heart but hey what's the matter, we all know which one of these will be first...going to the apple store can only fix iPhones that are hurt.

 

it’s snapchat stories being posted with the sole purpose of making that one person jealous, because without them all you feel is loneliness.

 

it’s that constant battle of posting pictures to make you seem over it, when in reality you’re no where close to it.

 

But they’ll never know that because you’re too afraid to admit it, you make your breakup spotify playlist private so no one can see your actual hurt as your drown yourself in john mayer and try and make it work. 

 

it’s that one snapchat story expiring before they see it because they don’t give a fuck about you now and you know it.

 

It's people only knowing one side of these conversations and forgetting that there's always a sequel before these eliminations. 

 

when the emotions fill your veins with regret, there's no one to go back to, that's part of the bet. 

 

it’s deleting instagram pictures from your profile as if it’s deleting them from your life. But who cares about memories after a fight, it's not like they meant anything with the person who wasn't right. 

 

it’s messy and it hurts and is only been made worse because now everyone's seen it and its out there forever, that's just how it works. 

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