2017.

December 31, 2017

 

wow. thank you. I have learned so much from you. Although you were a pain in the ass sometimes, you were great. 

 

Lets break this down....

 

January: honestly, I don't remember a single thing that happened during this month. I'm sure you were great but sorry, you were quite irrelevant. But I do think I need to thank you for not being a shitty start to the year so yeah, you did great at that. You were a blank canvas for me to accomplish whatever my mind wanted me too. The possibilities that this year would lead me were infinite.  

 

February: friends, basketball games, traveling, repeat. I have never been one for having a lot of friends, I have my group and thats all I need. From the billion of basketball games we attended to the ice hockey games, the sport side of me was rising this month. This was the month of traveling and road trips. I realized how blessed I was with the friends I have in my life. This was a month unlike no other, and was a great start to this year (although it came a month late. like they say, better late than never).

 

March: I always knew that nyc would be my new home, but this is when it actually hit me. After spending the night at my soon-to-be school, I was so excited for my future. Although I walked for hours this day, from downtown to like 40th street, my mind ran the whole time. I have never experienced a feeling like this one before. A tiny part of me was nervous about moving to nyc but a huge part of me knew it was going to be the best thing that could happen to me (that part was right). I walked up Broadway Street and I just couldn't believe that I would be able to walk down these streets whenever I wanted. These streets of New York are filled with so many stores and art galleries and so many people who are all just really cool lol (I also met Brie Larson that day aka my favorite person ever aka that just made my day that much better). oh yeah, sometime during this month I spent a ridiculous amount of money on some fries but it was totally worth it and I did not learn from that mistake because I still do that oops. 

April: This was my month of thinking. Going to parks and just thinking. I bought my first ever journal and although I don't use it as much as I would like, i'm getting the hang out it and trying to write more. I learned that I need to give myself time to think and get my thoughts out. I became more invested in photos than I ever had. I started to bring my camera to more places without feeling insecure about it or feeling out of place. I was still unsure though, which is something that I would soon grow out of.

May: College acceptance day was finally here which meant hell, I mean high school, was almost over. It was crazy that this was finally happening to me.... going to college....after these long dreaded years, I was finally going to be on to bigger and better things. I didn't know my high school peers for that long because I was new to PA in 8th grade, then sent to a different high school so by the time I actually met people, it was sophomore year. Although I wish I was able to have the connection of seeing these people that I had grown up with achieve their goals and see where they were going for college, thats not true. I saw my few friends succeed with their decisions and finally find the one, which was more than enough. Prom happened in all this jumble also which was great. 

 

June: now for june. the worst month of the year. the month I was kicked out of our house by my so-called father. You would think that a month filled with so many nyc adventures and graduation would be a happy one, but it's hard to recover after something like that. I had to pack up everything I owned into the boxes that seemed smaller than ever. Everything that could go wrong went wrong, a shitty situation made even shittier. It's crazy because moving was always a good thing for me, but this time ruined it for me. I was crushed. It obviously put a damper on my 'senior year mood' but I rose out of it, stronger than ever. The day after all the madness, my friends forced me to the beach for a trip and it took everything to get out of bed that day, but I am so grateful they did that. It really showed how lucky I was to have these people in my life when things got hard. 

 

July: The rest of the year I liked to play a game called "lets do everything to not be in this house" and if you know me, I like to win at games. We went to Cape May for a little 'Yay we successfully moved' gift. I saw the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen and ate some of the best seafood I have ever had. I went back to nyc for orientation with a inner drive even more visible than ever. Friends from near and far visited me and I might have accidentally slept on the streets of nyc for Alessia Cara (I don't think I can ever do that ever again).

 

August: The game continues with our North Carolina family trip which was SO cool. I woke up the beach outside my door for a week straight. There were no cities in sight and we just relaxed. We all deserved that. More amazing sunsets and boat rides along with super cute small towns. I came back to the college goodbyes of my best friends. Some stargazing in the middle of the woods happened here and there and lots and lots of tears.

 

September: Now we get to the good stuff, the start of school in nyc. It could not have gone better. I met the most important people that are now in my life and made friends that mean the most to me. It's crazy to think that I have only known these people for 4 months but I would trust them all with my life. I became more confident than ever in my photography and videos. I became the person I always wanted to be. I forgot about all the stuff that I have gone through and just started fresh. I became more confident in myself and decided that I wasn't going to let anything stop me from achieving what I wanted.

 

October: October had a few struggles, but I was in the happiest mindset I have ever been in which made them so much easier. A few health problems and a new roommate later, everything was fine. I was surrounded by people who made these problems seem like nothing. I was never alone and always had someone to give me a huge hug when I needed it. My whole life I have been going through shitty things but this time was different. I was surrounded by people who's doors were always open and people who were ready to listen. It's crazy the difference the people you are surrounded with can really change a situation. My friends inspire me with everything they do. They have made me the person I am today and I learn so much from them. 

 

November: This month was great. I was in nyc, I was surrounded by people who make me happy, I was never bored, no day was like the day before. I took more photos than ever and had more experiences all the time. I was in NYC for a Taylor Swift release week and although it was different than in the past, this time it was better than ever. This month was filled with lots of friends and a few givings (friendsgiving & thanksgiving) and I was reminded of how happy I was and how grateful I was for everything. The year had been so crazy with ups and downs but it all lead to where I was right then and I couldn't think of it being any other way. I also walked a lot. I learned that walking is my go to thing and walking in nyc is the best because it isn't boring (i'm a total people watcher). 

 

December: I wish I could say I started the Christmas festivities now but the truth it we started those in November oops. I was terrified for my birthday to happen at school. My birthday has never been amazing other than my mom and brother and a few friends which I was totally fine with but this time I didn't have half of that, my mom and my brother. But I was so mistaken. My friends at school made this one of the best birthdays ever. I have said this thousands of times already but I am just so grateful to have met every single person at school. If you are reading this, thank you, you have made me such a better person and so happy. We end our year back at home, pondering about the whole year and although I did not want to come home from nyc for break it has given me a lot of time to think of cool video/photo ideas for the new year when I move back. It has let me reflect on the year and how amazing it has been. It has had its bumps but I got through them and came out stronger than ever, and a big part of it has been the people I have surrounded myself with. 

 

Here's to 2018 and all the memories that I will create then, I see it being a year to remember. 

 

 

 

 

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